Hesitation

"The angel came to her and said, 'Rejoice, full of grace, the Lord is with you.' Mary was troubled at these words." - Luke 1:28-29

Let's be honest - whenever someone invites us to pray, go to a prayer group, or go to church, our first reaction is to think/say "mmm, thanks, but no thanks." Something about getting closer to God makes us put up a wall automatically. That may be because we know that a call from God means change. There is work to be done and we don't like that. We don't want to give anything up and we don't want to change the comfort of our current lives. God has called many of you and that call, like the angel appearing to Mary, was sweet; it brought good news. But quickly we start to think "oh no, I don't want to have to change anything" and the good God intends for us we turn into a problem.

Mary's concern for her own life was no different than ours. Imagine being young and single and then ending up pregnant with no partner. A lot of times the call of God will put us in a very uncomfortable situation which will make us prefer to stay the way we are. However, part of you knows you can't really do that… inside you *know* what the right move should be on your part. Although Mary was troubled, she knew she had to accept the call of God and do His will. Even though she was going to face a lot of hardships and go from a comfortable life to a very hard one, she said yes and we all know what came out of that acceptance. How about you, though? Are you hearing a call from God to open up a little more to Him? Are you feeling troubled and battling with stepping forward and really giving God the chance to tell you what He wants to do next? Let go of what's holding you back and say yes. We all get scared but what God has on the other side of your doubts and hesitations is great blessings for you like you've never even imagined!

Today's Prayer:
Lord, I have this battle that goes on within me between wanting to serve You more and wanting to stay comfortable the way that I am. I know in my heart I need to give more of myself to You but I don't want to give up so many things in my life. Be with me as I live each day so that You can keep reminding me of Your love and Your call. In Your Name we pray, amen.

It's Ok To Be Alone

"Then John's disciples came to take his body and bury it. And they went to bring the news to Jesus. On hearing this, Jesus set out secretly by boat for a secluded place." - Matthew 14:12-13

Do you feel like you just want to be alone? Away from everyone and everything? You just don't want to deal with anything and you need your own space to get through whatever is going on in your head. When people see us get this way, their first reaction is usually to discourage us from being alone. They want to invite us out thinking we shouldn't sulk in our problems. I personally feel that we absolutely need to sulk from time to time. It's ok to be alone. And that's what Jesus did so many times. One thing people tend to put aside is that Jesus is human too. He hurt inside when bad things happened. Things disappointed Him. Things knocked the wind right out of Him. In the passage above, Jesus hears that John the Baptist, His cousin, had been murdered. How do you think Jesus felt? Is it any easier because He was God? No, don't think for a second that it was. It hurt Him deeply. He felt the same pain we feel, the disbelief, the feeling like we just can't breathe, sleepless nights. Jesus felt all of it. And what made it worse was that if John the Baptist was murdered, Jesus knew He would be next. Imagine the fear that entered His heart and mind at this point!

So what did Jesus do? He left to a solitary place all by Himself. He pulled away from everyone because He was depressed, sad, angry, scared, all of it. As a normal, healthy human being Jesus needed His own time to straighten it all out and get Himself together, so it's ok if we do the same.

But this is healthy only for a certain amount of time. When Jesus reached the shore on His boat, He found that crowds had followed Him there and He felt compassion for them. He took His time to be on His own to mourn and think things out, but at the end of the day, we were created for unity and among others in the presence of God is the only way to fully heal. However, until you're ready to come back out, take your time. Be like Jesus and go off to a secluded place to be by yourself. It's what Jesus would do.

Today's Prayer:
Lord Jesus, thank You for being an example to me. You lived and died so that I would have someone to look up to. Even when I want to be alone, I ask that You be my only company in getting through these tough times. In Your Name we pray, amen.

The Alchemist

"Learn a lesson from the fig tree. When its branches grow tender and its leaves begin to sprout, you know that summer is near. In the same way, when you see all that I have told you, know that the time is near, even at the door." - Matthew 24:32

I have a story to tell you…
My retreat was this weekend for my ministry classes and it combined some of the people in my own Wednesday night classes with others from the other churches across Long Island. I was so happy to get away after all the stress I dealt with at work this past week. The retreat was held at a seminary out in Huntington and it's so secluded and just gorgeous. And although I was away from everything and in this tranquil place, my mind would get anxious and go back to worrying about work. The retreat consisted of class sessions regarding the dynamics of the family and during discussions, this young man would get up to give his own opinions about the subject matter and I was blown away by not only his intelligence but by his passion. I know people like him, people with great minds I met in college, but the people I know didn't believe in God, like they were too intelligent for Him. It was so refreshing to see someone like him with such a zest for God and the faith. I told myself I would introduce myself but Friday came and went and come Saturday, whenever I was free he was talking to someone else. Saturday night during our last session, our presenters gave us a break and I stayed by my seat a bit zoned out when all of a sudden I look up and there he was next to me. He smiles, extends his hand and introduces himself and before I could really react, he reached out again with his other hand to give me a book. I was a bit confused and took the book but thought, "I don't have any money on me right now," thinking he was trying to sell it. The book was The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho and he asked me if I had ever read it before. Although it had been on my mind to read for a while, I told him I hadn't. "I just had a feeling I needed to give you this," he said, "I hope you don't mind me asking, but are you under a lot of stress?" And as a balloon suddenly being released of its air, I burst out "yes," letting out so much emotion at the same time. "Then you need to read this book," he went on, "It's about following your dream, what you're really meant to do in life." I told him its exactly what I needed and he replied, "then maybe this is meant to tell you something," and walked away.

After last night's social, I left at around 10pm back to my room and began to read this story of a young shepherd who through signs and omens goes on pursuit of his "personal legend," that one dream in life that will make you happy, the one thing you were meant to do because God put that desire in you. Today when I was leaving the retreat, I wanted to go back and thank the young man for having given me the book. I was so taken aback by the fact that God let him feel what I was feeling and allowed him to give me this gift. When we said goodbye, he gave me a letter he wrote me about the book. In the letter, he quoted one of his favorite authors who said he found the one thing in life that made him simmer and boil, and for me to pray so that God can show me what that one thing is in my life.

Right now, I'm only on page 90 of The Alchemist, but already I've learned so much. Each of us has something we really want to do, something we really want out of life…and that one thing is God's will for us because He put that in our hearts. For so long I've questioned my career and have dealt with so much stress and anxiety that I've slowly realized that if it drains me in this way, it's not what I'm meant to do. And maybe the story in this book won't relate to me that much, but like the main character who sees God pointing him in different directions through signs, God sending this young man to me was a sign that He sees my struggle and my quest for my "personal legend," and I believe God does this for all people if we allow Him to guide us and be where He needs us to be in order to bless us. Nothing happens from one day to another, but we learn and grow through processes and, like Jesus tells us, by reading the signs God puts around us to lead us to where He is and where we're meant to be.

Today's Prayer:
Lord God, thank You for the retreat and for the person You put in my path to give me The Alchemist. You see my anxiety and my confusion and You show me You are there and You are by my side to guide me to the place You created me to be. In Your Name we pray, amen.

Christ In Me

"In face of the strong wind, he was afraid and began to sink. So he cried out, "Lord, save me!" - Matthew 14:30

In Galatians 2:19, Saint Paul writes, "it is no longer I who live, but Christ in me." I can't explain to you how I wish I could see myself beaten down and put against every type of adversity, like Paul, and still be able to stay in the peace of the Lord, saying that I have died to my fears, my worries, my insecurities, and my life is lived for and by Christ. Instead, at times I find myself more broken than before, lonelier that before. At times I feel so much like Peter. I want to walk on water towards Jesus, but what I end up doing is perceiving Him to be further away than He is. I only see the huge waves and the rough winds pushing me down, wearing me down. And it hurts that my faith is not as strong as I'd want it to be, or thought it was. Like a lost child, I find myself crying out to God, just like Peter did for the Lord to help my poor little faith. Yet, although I have such a long way to go, I have to remember that I'm on a journey with a beginning, an end, and sooo many bumps and rough patches on the way…it doesn't mean I'll never get there though. On the water, I'm feeling so lost, so helpless and I can't see God because I'm too focused on my fear and the waves around me. I long to be like Paul, beaten, persecuted, hated, and yet so full of joy, full of peace, not alone but in the company of Jesus Christ. No matter what came at him, Paul rejoiced and God made His presence known in Him. But my own faith is weak and I pray that Jesus hears my cry for help and brings me to walk on the water with Him to a place where the storm within me is quiet and I can also say that it is not I who live, but Christ in me.

Today's Prayer:
Lord God, please don't take into account my lack of faith, but the pain it causes me to know that I am not as strong as I thought and that I have let You down. Jesus, just as You raised up Peter, raise me up. Transform me on my journey to walk through the valley of the shadow of death and have You live in me. In Your Name we pray, amen.

Fear

"Then Jesus said to them, 'Why are you so frightened? Do you still have no faith?'" - Mark 4:40

Some times we need trials to tell us where we are with God. I write to you everyday about faith but even I can falter. I was scared about something today and contacted a friend of mine for advice. Her first question was, "do you believe in God?" She knew the answer to that question but asked so that I would realize my mistake in worrying and not entrusting God with my fears. She said the same thing to me that Jesus said to His apostles when they were out at sea during a storm. And the fact is that she is a 100% right in asking me this. If I have faith, that faith is proven true both in the big things and in the small things. Fear and faith cannot exist in the same person. There are things that can really worry us but the outcome is always positive if we put our trust in God.I believe God can understand our fears. Afterall, He sent His only son to become human and live among us with the same joys, worries, and sorrows we experience. Fear exists and can creep into us but we should always try to keep it away from our minds before it seeps into our hearts. In my case, the Lord put my friend in my path to snap me out of it. I know better and my faith is better than that. I hope you also take steps to encourage someone else's faith and not let them walk in fear.

Today's Prayer:
Lord Jesus, forgive me for allowing fear to enter my heart and mind before I fully put my trust in You today. Thank You for the people You put in my path to lead me back to Your truth. In Your Name we pray, amen.

When The Ground Shakes From Under Us

"God is our strength and protection, an ever-present help in affliction. We will not fear, therefore, though the earth be shaken and the mountains plunge into the deepest ocean, though its waters foam and roar, though the mountains quake and totter. For with us is the Lord of hosts, the God of Jacob, our stronghold." - Psalm 46:1-3

The earth definitely shakes underneath us at times, doesn't it? It might not literally happen, but things happen in our lives that shake us to our very core and bring real pain and despair into our lives. The psalmist knew this clearly. He lived in a time where the people studied nature and the seasons because any disaster or change could severely affect their livelihood. Therefore, he was wise in comparing despair in our own lives to a violent natural disaster. It affects our whole being and leaves us feeling without hope and no way out. But despite the initial fear, the psalmist, finds the faith to say that no matter what goes on, he will trust in the Lord, his source of strength.

Of course this is hard to do! But by putting your faith in the Lord, where your own strength fails, the Lord will pick up. That's how people get through so many tragedies in their lives. They trust in the Lord. Though the ground shakes right under them, they trust in the Lord.

Today's Prayer:
Lord God, without You I have no place to turn and no solution for my troubles. Deliver me Lord as I choose to trust in You and look for You for strength. In Your Name we pray, amen.

You Are Not a Slave

"Then, no more fear: you did not receive a spirit of slavery, but the Spirit that makes you adopted children and every time we cry, 'Abba! Father!' the Spirit assures our spirit that we are children of God." - Romans 8:15-16

Do you have a weakness right now that you feel you can't overcome? Are you tied to something, someone that's not good for you? Maybe you're in a bad relationship or are fighting an addiction, and you can't let go as much as it's hurting you. You, yourself can't let go because your sin is bringing you down. The devil keeps you down by telling you that you are weak and you can't make it through, but stop letting yourself be lied to. You are much stronger than you could ever imagine if you let the truth of God come into your life. You did not receive a weak spirit. You are not a slave to that circumstance or that addiction because YOU ARE A CHILD OF THE MOST HIGH GOD and there is no weakness or evil that your Father in Heaven cannot overcome for you if you ask. Do away with the fear! Do away with the self pity because you were meant for much higher things because with love the Lord Almighty has planned to prosper you, fill you with hope and give you a future. So lift up your trembling hands and lift up your eyes to your Father in Heaven. Be confident in His Word and know that He is much bigger, much more powerful than any weakness, any evil, and any negativity that wants to bring you down.

Today's Prayer:
Lord, I lift my eyes up to You because I am Your beloved child. You did not make me a slave to my weaknesses but gave me power to overcome any obstacle in the Name of Jesus Christ. In Your Name we pray, amen.

God Calls You By Name

"Thus says the Lord, "Fear not, for I have redeemed you; for I have called you by your name; you are mine." - Isaiah 43:1

We hear so many words during the day that we hardly give significance to them, but to the ancient Hebrews, words were vital. In the book of Genesis during creation, the author wrote that God spoke the world into existence. He said "let there be light" and there was light. His words made it happen. Even the names the Hebrews gave their children were of the utmost importance. The angel Gabriel was sent from Heaven directly to Joseph to give him the name he would give the baby Mary was carrying. To the Hebrews, words were life. They spoke truth and held promises. That's why the gospel is called The Word of God and Jesus Christ is the Word made flesh, in other words, the promise of God made reality. Therefore, your own name is of vital importance. It is not only what your family and friends call you, but the essence of who you are to God. And just like the Word of God becoming flesh took so many years to come to pass, so are you a developing story to the Lord. When you read this verse, I want you to know that no matter who you are and what you have done, God has redeemed you so you should not be afraid of anything. You may be carrying a shameful sin, be struggling with addiction, depression, guilt, low self esteem, or so much stress and tribulations that you doubt the very existence of God, but still, He has redeemed you. You had nothing to do with that. Your redemption is God's personal, free gift to you.

This is why He has called you by name and told you that you already belong to Him. By calling you by name, He is looking directly at you and all of your faults and all of your doubts and still telling you not to be afraid. There is nothing you hold in your heart that the Lord doesn't already know. By calling you by name, He is calling the essence of you, not your sins and struggles. Your life is a work in progress to the Lord and where you are now does not define you as the way God sees you. He sees so much more in you, after all, He made you in His image. Whatever you're going through right now, listen to the voice of God in your heart - do not be afraid, He has redeemed you. He has called YOU by name and you are His…and nobody can't take you away from Him.

Today's Prayer:
Lord Jesus, thank You so much for looking past my sins and my faults and still calling me by name. Thank You for Your mercy and always being patient when I am so weak and even doubt You. Strengthen me, my Lord, so that I get rid of the fear I have in me and enjoy Your salvation. In Your Name we pray, amen.

The Dark, Unknown Path

"The priest answered them, 'Go in peace, the journey you make is under the eye of Yahweh.'" - Judges 18:6

Life is just so difficult sometimes. There are no road maps, we only get advice that we probably won't follow. Sometimes I feel like I know what I want and what to do with my life and other times I feel so lost, so confused. It feels like I have to make such permanent decisions so fast. When we're in our late teens and 20's, the choices we make have a profound effect on the rest of our lives. Do I take this job, or even this career? Do I marry this person? Should I move to another city? Will I want this 10 years from now, or 5 years or even 1? There are so many paths to take and some are easy but a lot are painful and we might not even have the reassurance that we are doing the right thing. Are we on the right path right now? Is this where we're supposed to be?

This is why it's so important to be in constant contact with God. This journey of life is hard enough by ourselves, we need His guidance. We need Him to tell us that we're on the right path, to be in peace because He is watching us as we walk through it. There so much fear in uncertainty and in facing an unknown, daunting future, but by knowing that the Lord is with me as I go, I am comforted that I am in His hands. How scary it must be for those that don't know God…those who who let their own whims guide them; its a shot in the dark. Without guidance from God they face the next 40 or 50 years taking an unknown, shaky path. One mistake for them could cost them dearly, but putting ourselves in the Lord's presence each day is like being given a flash light to make it through this dark, unknown journey…He illuminates the path as we go.

Today's Prayer:
Lord, I know You have plans for me and my future, but help me see today how I can follow You in getting there. Sometimes I am so afraid and don't know what to do and need Your guidance in making decisions. As scary as it is, just be with me as I go so that I know I am where I need to be. In Your Name we pray, Amen.

Be Vulnerable

"And He said to them, 'My soul is filled with sorrow even to death. Remain here and stay awake with me.'" - Matthew 26:38

I learned something very painful today - the importance of making myself vulnerable. As you may know, I'm taking a course in ministry and the first topic we're learning is called Redemptive Listening. Today was my second class and the teacher made us partner up randomly with someone I never met before and start to tell them something personal about myself, an experience about listening. As I'm talking to this total stranger, that familiar knot emerged in my throat and I had to swallow and try to fight back tears! I don't know about you, but I feel that in today's society, we're taught to suck it up and just deal. We talk to people on a superficial level but our true feelings, our true emotions - the reasons for our happiness, our fears, or insecurities, we keep locked up for no one to access or even know exist. What made me choke up was that I was in a situation in which that person was solely there to listen to me and how I felt - not through emails or IMs, but face to face making eye contact. I realized that I never really do this! I never really communicate with people! Most of the time if we "vent," we spill out what frustrates us and then we say, "ok! Thanks for letting me vent" and then we end there. If we're upset with someone, we give them the silent treatment or try to "get over it." If we get together with people, we laugh and crack jokes, but do we ever discuss our feelings? How many times do we actually sit with someone, someone who is there to only listen to us and not interrupt with stories of their own life, and truly and deeply express our feelings…making it about ourselves at that moment and not about anyone else? This may seem selfish, but we really do need this…we need this to heal and to be healthier emotionally. I had no idea I had some things bottled up like this to the point it made me cry. While you express these things, you become aware of things you didn't even know you felt.

In this verse, Jesus is making Himself extremely vulerable. Right before He was arrested, He went to pray in the garden of Gethsemane and He told His apostles to stay with Him because His soul was filled with sorrow even to death. What does this mean to you? Read between the lines and see that Jesus is actually saying, "please stay with me, I feel lonely, I'm afraid, don't leave me alone." If Jesus, who we are supposed to emulate made Himself vulnerable by expressing His feelings, we need to do the same. And if Jesus, who is also God, couldn't bare to keep His feelings to Himself, no matter how personal and intimate they are, neither should we.

It's so hard to do and right now I'm struggling with it, but when I opened up to that stranger today, the peace and release that came from that was amazing. It's all about the journey, not about immediate results. Sometimes we're looking for God to heal us, but it is also in letting these things out that He brings peace to our hearts. Pray about this and make Jesus your example in being vulnerable.

Today's Prayer:
Lord Jesus, I try to keep what I'm feeling to myself and today You're telling me it's not good for me. Just as You did, I need to be open about my feelings and let others see my vulnerability as much as that scares me. Please be with me and help me through this. Place in my path people that can listen to me, as well as people I can listen to. In Your Name we pray, amen.

Making It Through

"Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name; you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you. When you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through fire, you will not be burned; neither will the flames consume you. For I am your savior, I, Yahweh, your God, the Holy One of Israel. Since you are precious in my sight and important - for I have loved you, I give men in exchange for you and people in return for your life." - Isaiah 43:1-4

We hear the words "God loves you" or "Jesus loves you" so often we don't know what it really means. If our world shatters around us or we see and hear of so many injustices, reason tells us that God can't possible love us. But if you think about it, the only way for us to really know God in our lives is if we are able to make it through the trials and sorrows that hurt us and see that He was there all along. Loving someone does not mean preventing them from experiencing things, but instead to take their hand and walk them through to where they need to be. Learn to trust in God through the hardships that come to us - you have been redeemed by Him, you specifically He has called by name. Notice that the verse says that when you pass through water, when you pass through rivers, when you walk through fire - in life we WILL go through hardships but what makes it all worthwhile is that when we make it through to the other side, it is His embrace that will wait for us. These experiences we go through help us grow and be spiritually on the other side, where we need to be. And when He walks with us through these problems, we will see that we made it through without being hurt, the flames never consumed us because He promised His protection. We are precious in His sight, we are important and all things He allows so that eventually we get to know Him and see the wonders of His hand since otherwise, we might not have paid attention. The day will come when you will give thanks and glory to God because you'll see how you've made it through and how He protected you and let you know His Name.

Today's Prayer:
Lord God, the waters do feel so high at times and the heat is so close to burning me, but I know You love me and have set me apart for You. Help me, my God, to fully trust You and get through to where You are. In Your Name we pray, Amen.

God's Goodness Will Follow You

"Goodness and kindness will follow me all the days of my life." - Psalm 23:6

When you believe and develop a personal relationship with God, He takes you to another level of faith.At this level, you have made God the most important thing in your life. His will becomes your will and you learn to give Him thanks constantly for how good He is. Also at this level, you begin to walk by faith and not by sight, or fear. In the beginning of this Psalm, King David says, "although I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil, for You are beside me." Here, David is showing confidence in the fact that God will shower him with goodness and kindness for all of his life. This is something God wants to do with all of us, believers and non-believers, but what this new level of faith is is being as confident as David was in God's favor. It is putting away the fear and knowing, just as the sky is blue, that the Lord Almighty is your God and He will protect you, uphold you, listen to you, and be there for you right now and until the very end of your life.

Do away with any fear. Be confident in His promises and joyful because He is at work in your life

Today's Prayer:
Lord God, I thank You because You take special care of me each and every single day whether I acknowledge it or not. You bless me without me deserving it or giving enough gratitude. Help me to always trust in You. In Your Name, Amen.

Just Believe

"Do not fear, just believe." - Mark 5:36

Easier said than done, right? It doesn't have to be. I love it when Jesus commands us to not do something that is so ingrained in our nature to show us that He is so much bigger. Here He tells us not to fear, and let me tell you, I'm scared of everything! I can spend all morning being worried and afraid of all the things that can possibly go wrong! But if He orders us not to be afraid, it's because we really shouldn't be. It's as clear as Thou Shall Not Steal…you can just not be scared. Instantly, it's like Jesus took us off a tight rope and set our feet firmly on the ground. So if He has taken away all the insecurity and instead commands us to believe, He has taken away the negative from our lives and replaced it with blessings.

"To fear" and "to believe" are both words that require action - we must follow His command and do away with the fear that holds us back and choose to believe in the goodness that awaits us in Jesus. You really need to close your physical eyes that show you all your obstacles and instead open your eyes of faith.

Today's Prayer:
My God, thank You for being so good and letting me know that I should never fear for You take care of me. Help me to close my eyes and just trust in Your promises! In Your Name we pray, Amen.