Be Still

"Be still, know that I am God." - Psalm 46:11

Although we somehow think life is supposed to be fair and easy, it's really not. Situations come into our lives that make us want to explode. Sometimes it's financial issues, sometimes it's drama with family and friends, or sometimes it's an illness that brings us down to rock bottom. How could we not scream out in despair and totally lose it when things seem to be getting worse? If you believe in God, He will give you the strength and the peace to endure.

I had the chance to put this into practice recently. I was so upset, but usually when I would cry, I told God it's in His hands and I felt fortified. You see, if you believe in God, then you know that He prepares you for whatever happens, no matter how difficult. You have to trust that, and when you trust that, you are confident in His promise. You can be still although things are crumbling around you… you can be still because He is God… and being God, He controls all for your benefit. If you show fear and anxiety, that means you don't trust God, you don't know Him… it means you have a bit more to walk until you allow yourself to surrender into His protection.

Today's Prayer:
My God, it's really hard for me to just let go and let You handle these things that are hurting and worrying me, but I want to surrender. Help me from this day forward to just be still and know that You are God, and You will show me the way. In Jesus' Name we pray, amen.

Stains

"He guides me through the paths of righteousness for His Name's sake." - Psalm 23:3

For the past week this verse has been resonating with me. Jesus said that the Kingdom of God is like a treasure. I know I've found that treasure inside of me, but it was dirty and I've been trying to polish and clean it. The reason this verse has been resonating with me is because sometimes I feel I'm really close to having it clean, and then God reveals even more dirt and grime, and all sorts of gunk stuck to it, the results of my selfishness and pride, and the hardest things to clean. The surface stains are easy, it's the deeper stains that are really tough to see and remove. It's painful.

Last Wednesday, God showed me something about myself that I didn't know I had in me. I guess I knew, but I didn't pay it any mind and I never thought it was bad until that night. Another deep stain to remove and even more reason to give thanks to God because, truly, the only good in me is Him. Everything else in me seeks my own comfort and my own reward.

We all have this treasure inside of us. The Lord leads us through paths of righteousness because I think that this treasure is a mirror that needs to reflect His image, His love, and His mercy… if only we can work on getting it spotless.

Today's Prayer:
Oh Lord, You are so good in showing me all the things inside of me that are soiled. I am so grateful that You, in Your mercy, have taken me to mold me into a reflection of Yourself, despite how slow and difficult the process is. I am so very far from perfect, but I can do all things in You who strengthen me. In Jesus' Name we pray, amen.

Cleanse Me of Guilt

"In your great compassion, blot out my sin. Wash me thoroughly of my guilt; cleanse me of evil. For I acknowledge my wrongdoings and have my sins ever in mind." - Psalm 51:3-5

Have you ever caused someone pain and the fault is entirely yours? It's one of the worst feelings ever. It really eats away at you and you wonder how you could ever make it better. This is a tough situation and if you're lucky, the person will forgive you, but how can you forgive yourself? King David sinned greatly against God when he committed adultery and had the woman's husband killed. When his eyes were open to what he had done, in his remorse, he wrote this psalm. This is what we need sometimes, right? For God to help us forgive ourselves, for God to just come in and completely cleanse us of the pain, the shame, and the self-hate. No matter what you've done, God wants to help you forgive yourself. With a truly repented heart, David went to God, bowed down before Him because he knew God was the only one who could help. Trust in God like David trusted in God. Ask God to cleanse you… ask God to create a new heart in you like He did for David. We are called to repentance, but God doesn't want us to punish ourselves by holding on to guilt.

Today's Prayer:
My Jesus, search my heart and see that I am repented. I know I have sinned and the weight of that sin is pressing down too heavily upon my heart. Please help me release it. As You did for David, create in me a new heart and I will be white as snow. In Your Name we pray, amen.

Over Already

"Make us know the shortness of our life, that we may gain wisdom of heart." - Psalm 90:12

Today, my 17 year old twin brothers learned what death is. Two of their friends were killed in a car accident in front of their High School on the way back from lunch. Their white mazda was pretty much wrapped around a telephone pole.

No one can ever explain why some lives are taken so soon. Jordan and Jonathan lost two of their friends. One of them was Jonathan's lab and gym partner. How is he going to understand the emptiness he'll feel when there's no one sitting next to him tomorrow? There are families grieving over their sons right now with no comfort. These are the reasons why we have to ask God to help us number our days. We will all face death one day, but are we ready, or are we counting on getting older to make the changes we need to make in our lives? If you were to meet with death tonight, are there people you should be apologizing to? Are there people who should know how much you love them? Are there mistakes you need to correct? Are there things you need to set right with God? I'm sure Quinntin and Saul would have used their last hours in very different ways if they had known.

I'd like for the Lord to help me get over the shock of their early death, and allow for this to show us the reality and fragility of our lives. It can be over in a second and we never know when that will be. Let's make sure we're right with God for when our turn comes.

Today's Prayer:
Lord Jesus, I ask You for the souls of Quinntin and Saul, two kids who know find themselves in Your presence today. I ask You to provide extraordinary comfort to the parents and families of these kids as they deal with this tragedy, and I ask You for all of the students and friends mourning their loss, especially Jordan and Jonathan. In Your Name we pray, amen.

God Is a Funny Dude!

"For God commands the angels to guard you in all your ways." - Psalm 91:11

I left work today laughing to myself when I realized how God helped me out.

This morning everyone in my office ordered breakfast. I asked for a bagel with cream cheese and since I'm not a coffee drinker, I ordered the bagel with my usual hot chocolate. When the delivery came, every order was correct, except that I was missing my hot chocolate. I shrugged it off and ate my bagel anyway because I wasn't going to complain about a small hot chocolate, although I was pretty upset.

Fast forward to the end of the day when I was leaving work and thinking about what dessert to have with dinner. I thought about chocolate and what I could have in its place since it's what I have given up for Lent… and that's when it hit me - I ordered hot chocolate out of habit, forgetting I wasn't supposed to have any chocolate, but God took care of me and out of all the other orders that were delivered, my hot chocolate was the only thing missing. Some might call this a coincidence, but I know it's not. This is how God works in even the smallest things to help us along. When I realized what He did today, I started laughing. I thanked Him and said, "good one!" He's a really funny guy… ask Him to show you that side of Him.

Today's Prayer:
Lord, thank You so much for looking out for me in small ways. It's in these details that You show me how much attention You give me. Open my eyes so that I can see Your work in all areas of my life. In Your Name we pray, amen.

Seeing Is Not Believing

"If today you hear His voice, do not be stubborn, as at Meribah, in the desert, on the day at Massah, when your fathers challenged me, and they put me to the test. For forty years they wearied me and I said, 'They are a people of inconstant heart; they have not known my ways.' So I declared on oath in my anger, 'Never shall they enter my rest.'" - Psalm 95:8-11

My mom and I were talking in the kitchen the other day about how good God is and she said, "I really can't judge Moses, but I don't understand how he saw the power of God and how He released the Jews, yet he doubted in God in the desert." After seeing a staff turn into a snake, rivers turn into blood, many other plagues and the red sea part, Moses doubted God and because of this he never saw the Promised Land. This got me thinking about faith and signs. So many people want to put God to the test and make Him prove His existence or His power as a condition for them to believe, but this really goes against all God is. Hebrews 11:1 says that faith is being sure of what you hope for and certain of what you do not see. No where in there does it say that faith is the result of what your eyes tell you. Jesus said that only an evil and unbelieving people want a sign. This tells me that those who are going to believe in God do not need any visual proof, all they need to do is let their hearts experience the truth when it comes across it. If even Moses, who witnessed so many wonders doubted, what are signs going to do for us if we don't accept God in our hearts and minds? So many people were healed when Jesus asked "do you believe?" Only after they said yes were they actually healed.

Instead of working on what our eyes tell us, let's work on what our hearts tell us. When Jesus resurrected and went to visit the apostles, He told Thomas that he believes in Him because he touched and saw His wounds, but fortunate are those who have not seen and yet believe - that could be me and you.

Today's Prayer:
Lord, forgive my weak nature. Overlook my doubts and failure to trust You when I put my reliance in my own senses over confidence in Your power. Build me stronger so that I can truly be fortunate before Your eyes. In Jesus' Name we pray, amen.

Am I Worthy?

"Place your burden on the Lord, and He will sustain you, for He never allows the upright to fall." - Psalm 55:22

The journey towards God is a painful one because God's role in our lives is to make us complete. This means that when you place your heart on God, for a second you might be feeling like you're doing really well, but God brings out in you those fears and insecurities you didn't even know you had. We are all broken in many more ways that we can imagine and God seeks to heal us, put us together. In my case, as I have been sharing with you, I have worry/ anxiety issues. I know I should trust in God completely, but when I'm in a bind, I get overly anxious, nervous, and usually start crying in despair. As a matter of fact, what motivated me to be a straight A student in school had always been the fear of getting yelled at by a teacher, or the fear of failing and being seen as stupid. I never even realized the degree to which I felt this until God brought it up to the forefront for healing. I'm praying about it and I know He's working on it.

In the same way, I know you have deep seeded fears, insecurities, anxieties. Maybe they're similar to mine or maybe they're totally different. The point is that when we realize these issues we have within ourselves, we might not think we're worthy of God. I felt like this this week - in my despair I felt that I didn't trust God enough with my problems just because He took longer than usual to answer me. Then I thought to myself, "why would God help me if I failed Him?" And I'm sure you, at one point or another, feel the same way. We all have problems and drama that we deal with every day and when the Word of God tells us to put our trust in Him because He will sustain us, we really want to do that. We really want to just rest in His arms where things are safe and nothing bad or hurtful ever happens. But then we read the next part about God doing this for the upright…is that me? I'm not holy. I carry so many sins and let God down constantly with my poor faith…is God's promise then not for me? Our own low self-esteem might say that it doesn't apply to us, but if you're reading this right now, it does apply to you. No matter how broken you are and how many sins you commit, if your heart is placed on trying to follow the Lord, then you are upright. Jesus' best friends betrayed Him at His death, but He still gave them His church to run for Him. The Lord knows our sins better than we do so when our hearts and our minds are trying to please Him, that alone make us upright and righteous in His eyes…then He will heal us, He will sustain us and never let us fall.

Today's Prayer:
Lord God, thank You for being so merciful. You overlook my many faults because of Your love for me and then try to heal me of all my wounds. See me as Your clay so that You can mold me and fix me as You please. In Your Name we pray, amen.

Look and See

"A thousand may fall at your side, ten thousand at your right hand, but nothing shall befall you. Look and see how the wicked are repaid." - Psalm 91:7-8

Sometimes in our lives we have to face people and obstacles that come at us really hard. There seems to be no help nor a way out. Imagine the obstacles faced by the psalmist to say that in life, you may see a thousand fall at your side, ten thousand at your right hand…you may see all kinds of problems from financial to health issues pile up on top of you, and out of no where, get slammed with even more. But even when this is the case, if you have made God your strong hold, the One in whom your trust lies, nothing will happen to you, no matter what you see happening around you. That's what true faith in God does. The bigger the problem(s) is, the bigger the protection and hand of God, the Almighty.

I'm super stressed right now with a new client at work and I have what seems like an impossible mission to complete by Monday. However, I will keep trusting in God to take care of it for me and I know that come Monday, I will tell you about what God did to resolve this. As I was praying right now about the problem, I remembered this verse and how it says "look and see how the wicked are repaid." It feels as though as big as the problems we face are, if we trust in Him, He tells us to just sit and watch as He does all the work for us. After all, what is impossible for man is possible to God. We have to remember that we, ourselves, can't do anything, but everything is in His hands and all the glory belongs to Him. The wicked could be someone who is actually causing you a problem now, or it can be a thing that's being a major problem for you, either way *know* that no matter how overwhelming and hopeless it may feel right now, or if you wake up to even more issues tomorrow, you are in the palm of God's hand if you trust Him, and for your faith, He will reward you by letting you witness how He comes in for your rescue. Just look and see.

Today's Prayer:
Lord Jesus, You are the King of all that exists. You brought everything into being and everything obeys Your command. Help me keep my hope in You and see my faith through until the day You show me how You are to answer my prayers. Thank You, Lord, for Your kindness and goodness to me. In Your Name we pray, amen.

Number Your Days

"A thousand may fall at your side, ten thousand at your right hand, but nothing shall befall you." - Psalm 91:7

My parents were involved in an accident today on the highway that left behind a 6 car pile-up and leaving the car behind them flipped over. Thanks to the grace of God, my parents are ok. It's at moments like these that our faith is tested and moments like these that we see that the power of God and His protection are real. We come and we go during our day without any concern as to whether it could be our last or that in any second our entire lives could change. In Psalms, King David told God to help him number his days so that he could always give thanks to God for each day of his life and to always put Him first since we don't know how long we have. My parents know how to number their days, so day and night and many times in between, they pray to God, give Him thanks and ask for His protection. These verses that I pass on to you every day are not just old scripture, they are the living breathing Word of God…so, when the psalm says that you will see a thousand fall at your side and ten thousand at your right hand, yet you, who put your faith in the Lord are unharmed because you have the protection of the Almighty God - you better believe that and live your life giving thanks to Him!

Today's Prayer:
Lord God, thank You for Your love and protection. Thank You because my parents know Your Name and give You thanks day and night. Thank You for keeping them safe despite terrible accidents that lurk around them. You are the living God and in You alone I will put my faith and hope for the rest of my life. Help us to always, always number our days. In Your Name we pray, amen.

When You're Off the Path

"Search me, O God, and know my heart; try me and know my thoughts. See if my steps have gone astray, and lead me in your eternal way." - Psalm 139:23-24

Are there ever moments when you look at yourself and don't like who you have become? Do you ever yearn to go back to a time when you were more innocent and life was simpler? A time when you were stronger and had more passion for life and God. I've been feeling like that lately and the Lord just put this verse in my heart tonight. As we all know, life has its ups and downs and somehow we always tend to look at ourselves in the past and think of how much happier we were then than we are now… but the truth is that God knows how to bring our lives full circle. He always restores us and makes life more fuller when we ask. He prepares us in moments we've been weak to be stronger in the future. I know that I can't discount anything I may be feeling now because it is all part of God's plan for me, although I might not see how it fits, but He certainly makes no mistakes. Therefore, wherever we are right now is ok with God, as lost and confused as we may feel, as long as we take the time to ask Him to search us and show us the right path to follow.

Today's Prayer:
Lord, help me to fully accept Your love for me. I know that I am probably harder on myself than You are on me, but I would love to follow Your will completely and need Your direction. Help us to listen to Your voice and let ourselves be guided by You. In Your Name we pray, amen.

Science Vs. God

"The fool says in his heart, 'God does not exist.'" - Psalm 14:1

In college, I took a class focusing on the functions of the brain. We learned about all of the amazing ways our brains process information and direct our bodies. It seemed so automatic that I had to ask my professor how God fits into this from the scientific point of view. He recommended a book to me called "Why God Won't Go Away," written by two neurologists who have years of lab experience and yet cannot prove the case against God. They studied Catholic nuns, Buddhist monks, everyone under states of prayer and meditation and could not explain why their brains began to trigger in certain ways. All this seems opposite to what we're taught today in our school systems. They teach that religion is a form of social control and that God does not exist. But as followers of Jesus, we should know that the way we live our lives is not the way the world does. The world values power, money, riches, and Christians value humility, faith, and kindness. The same then goes for the belief in God - the world sees Him as a fable and we equate unbelief with being a fool. In fact, the root of being a fool is this lack of faith in God, totally contrary to what so many scientists would say today. While science creates all these theories on how things were created without God which they have never been able to prove, despite all this time, money, experiments, and technology, remember this verse and know where truth originates from - faith in the One, true, living God.

Today's Prayer:
Lord God, man always seems to be on a quest to say You're not there, when all You want is to show us You love us. Open our eyes of faith so that our hearts can prove Your existence to an incredulous, impious world. In Your Name we pray, amen.

A Scary Road Ahead

"But I put my trust in you, O Lord. You are my God; my days are in your hands." - Psalm 31:14-15

It is so scary to face the future and come across opportunities in which we have to make serious decisions. Sometimes we know what to do but most times we don't. I remember how scary it was to pick a college and pick a major. It felt so final and how was I to know at that age what I really wanted to do for the rest of my life? And then after college, where was I to work? Now I find myself thinking about marriage and it being so permanent when I'm not sure where my path will lead in a couple of months. Life is so scary; and there's no way of knowing if the choices you make will be good or bad in the long term. Will I be ok in the long term? Will I be ok in 6 months? Or 1 month?

I only know one thing though, and that's that I am going to trust in God to guide me through. He knows where He's taking me even if He lets that road be dark for a couple of miles. I tell Him every day that I hope that He really knows that no matter what, I just want to be led by Him. Tonight in my ministry class, my teacher shared a poem written by a monk named Thomas Merton. I found myself and all I was feeling in those words and it showed me that in all walks of life, we are all scared, but in all walks of life, God is there.

I hope it brings you comfort as you try to figure out your path:

"My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so.

But I believe that my desire to please you does in fact please you. And I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire. And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road, though I may know nothing about it.

Therefore I will trust you always, though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death, I will not fear, for you are ever with me; you will never leave me to face my perils alone."

God Will Never Let You Fall

"Place your burden on the Lord, and He will sustain you, for He never allows the upright to fall." - Psalm 55:23

I'm a huge worrier. A couple of months ago, when I thought something was going to go wrong at work, I would freak out and let myself get overworked. But the closer I got to the Lord, the more I learned to trust Him. Now, when deadlines are approaching and things don't seem to be going my way, I am relaxed because I just know that some way, some how, the Lord is good and He will work it all out for me. This is something the Lord wants to do for you as well if you give up your trust to Him. Your burden could be your job, your financial situation, health, school, family or your own emotional problems. No matter what it is, if you give it unto God, He will take care of it. You can rest assured. It says here that God will never ever allow for the upright, those who follow Him and pray to Him, to fall. You could see everything going against you - King David wrote it psalms that his enemies were closing in on him, yet no matter how close danger got, no harm ever came upon him. You could see yourself at the very bottom, but the Lord won't allow it to go any further. The key here is to be upright. Look for the Lord. Give Him the time He deserves. Watch your life and do what is pleasing to Him. Do away with the things you know the Lord is against and He will look with favor upon you. Trust in Him for no matter what you're going through, He takes up your burden. He sustains your life. He will never let you fall…never.

Today's Prayer:
Lord God, thank You for sustaining my life through all of my trials. You give me life and take care of me. Throughout everything I can never say that You have let me down. I love You, my Lord. In Your Name we pray, amen.

Through the Valley

"Although I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil, for you are beside me." - Psalm 23:4

The moment that something bad is happening to me, I start to beg God to get me out of it. Whether it's my job or being stuck in bad traffic, I ask God to bring me out of the situation without even considering sticking through for a bit longer. But if you think about it, most of the times in life, we end up sticking through all the bad stuff until things get better. This psalm teaches us that for some reason, God leads us through these bad periods in our lives, but along the way, He is with us. We all want better things - a great new job, to get married, a new house - but with all of these things come great responsibilities. These bad periods build us and make us stronger so that when we finally reach the next level, we're ready for it! Instead of telling God to relieve you of a situation, ask for strength and endurance to make it through and you'll see how He walks with you along the way, building you for better things.

Today's Prayer:
Dear God, open my eyes of faith and allow me to see the good that You do in my life, even in the things that I don't like. You know my faith can be weak at times, but show me the power of Your hand and walk me through until I'm grown. In Your Name we pray, amen.

Who Completes You?

"O Lord, you know me: you have scrutinized me. You know when I sit and when I rise; from far away you discern my thoughts. You observe my activities and times of rest; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is formed in my mouth, you know it entirely, O Lord." - Psalm 139:1-4

I think you're like me in that we want to be loved. We want someone who completes us. We want someone who knows us so well that they finish our sentences. We all want someone who is our soulmate, the one person that loves us and knows us better than anyone else. I'm coming to realize that we come so close to finding that person, but it never is complete. And it's not complete because we are all imperfect. We make mistakes, intentionally or not, that really hurt those we love the most. We let each other down. If we're in a bad mood, we take it out on those close to us. If we know we do that, then we can only expect our partner to do it to us from time to time. Therefore, who can actually really complete us? Who can actually see us and know exactly what we're thinking? Who is always there to listen to us and be that shoulder to cry on without fail? There is only One…the Lord our God, who knit us together in our mother's womb. He formed us, thought about us each second of the day to make sure we're ok. He's the only One who can see us for who we really are. He's the only One who understands our intentions or insecurities when others judge. And He's the only One who will love you unconditionally, giving you His best time after time. You are beloved in His eyes and He will never fail you.

Today's Prayer:
Lord Jesus, thank You for Your love and mercy. When others fail me, You are there. When I crave love that others can't give me, You fill me. Help me Lord to show others that You are there for them too, to fill those areas of their hearts that are cold and abandoned. In Your Name we pray, amen.

Living In The Past

"You have scrutinized my actions and all my days are ordained by you; you have recorded them all in your book before any one of them ever existed." - Psalm 139:16

You know, our pasts dictate our future. On a positive note, if we do well in school and make the right choices, we walk a straight path in life, but then there are also the twists and turns along the way that bring about pain and sin. If this is the case, then most likely, you carry along the fear, shame, and insecurity that nothing will turn out right for you and you'll never have a good relationship or get a good job. You allow the past to tell you what your future is. But God just doesn't work like that. If you trust in Him, He will create ways to give you the future He destined you for, no matter what in your past has gone wrong. You have to remember that God is good and has promised to be with you, to guide you, through anything.

I heard a preacher say that the highest buildings have the lowest, deepest foundations. This means that it doesn't matter how poor you are, how dysfunctional your family is or how badly you've behaved, you can put your trust in God so that He can take you to a higher place. You will go from the depths of that building and rise above it all in your future! This psalm says that before anything ever happens to you, God already has it recorded in His book, yet you are very aware of the beautiful plans He has promised you! You have to believe that God uses your past to bring more value, meaning and joy to your future if you allow Him to! Let your past dictate your future so that you can see God turn your depths into sky scrapers!

Today's Prayer:
Lord God, thank You for using my past, although I have trouble believing it, as a stepping stone for the wonderful promises You have ahead of me. At times I do struggle and it's hard for me to see that light at the end of the tunnel, but I know that You are God and You are the Almighty so I will put my faith in You. In Your Name we pray, amen.

When The Ground Shakes From Under Us

"God is our strength and protection, an ever-present help in affliction. We will not fear, therefore, though the earth be shaken and the mountains plunge into the deepest ocean, though its waters foam and roar, though the mountains quake and totter. For with us is the Lord of hosts, the God of Jacob, our stronghold." - Psalm 46:1-3

The earth definitely shakes underneath us at times, doesn't it? It might not literally happen, but things happen in our lives that shake us to our very core and bring real pain and despair into our lives. The psalmist knew this clearly. He lived in a time where the people studied nature and the seasons because any disaster or change could severely affect their livelihood. Therefore, he was wise in comparing despair in our own lives to a violent natural disaster. It affects our whole being and leaves us feeling without hope and no way out. But despite the initial fear, the psalmist, finds the faith to say that no matter what goes on, he will trust in the Lord, his source of strength.

Of course this is hard to do! But by putting your faith in the Lord, where your own strength fails, the Lord will pick up. That's how people get through so many tragedies in their lives. They trust in the Lord. Though the ground shakes right under them, they trust in the Lord.

Today's Prayer:
Lord God, without You I have no place to turn and no solution for my troubles. Deliver me Lord as I choose to trust in You and look for You for strength. In Your Name we pray, amen.

Today

Hey - This is the last email you'll get from me until Sunday. I'll be away at a retreat this weekend and won't be able to write to you.

Here's today's verse:

"My soul thirsts for God, for the living God." - Psalm 42:2

I was at the mall on Saturday and I went into the Catholic Supply Store to buy a CD of the Rosary. I added it to my iPod so I could meditate on it while on the train. I was listening to it this morning on the LIRR and I had this amazing feeling; I felt like a child in God's arms. That feeling stayed with me as I got into the city and got on the subway on my way to work. When I got out of the subway, I went to a church by my job that I always go into every morning. Today was different though. I felt in a rush to get there and I started to feel like a little girl lost, missing from her parents. I ran up the stairs of the church in a sort of desperation because this strong emotion was beginning to pour out of me and showed itself as tears running down my face. There was this strong desire in me to be in God's presence and the only way I can describe it is as a little child yearning for their parent and finally seeing them in front of them. As I made my way to the front of the church, I was visibly crying, and not just tears at this point but loud sobs, and I'm sure the other people in the church heard/ saw me and wondered what was wrong with me. But nothing at all was wrong; I felt an immense love in my heart and it was my Lord calling me. I yearned to be in His presence like nothing I've felt before and kneeling there before Him gave me such peace.

Maybe some of you have felt this and maybe some of you are far from this, but the truth is that God really draws close to those that draw close to Him. I'm not perfect, far from it, and God has so much work to do in me, but He is good and along my journey He shows me how close He is to me. What I hope for the most is that all of you one day get to feel this. I hope that you continually search for God every day so that you can see how loving He is and how incredibly good He is.

Today's Prayer:
Lord God, You are so good to me. You draw me into You and my soul thirsts only for You, to be connected to You. Help me to respond to Your call and bring others to get to know Your love. In Your Name we pray, amen.

I Messed Up, But God Was There

"Let me not be put to shame, O Lord, for I have called on You." - Psalm 31:17

I almost messed something up reaaalllyyyy bad today! You know how we always hear that we should trust in God, and for us, that's really hard to do! We have trouble believing He's there, let alone trusting Him! Today God confirmed a huge lesson for me, one that taught me that I am correct in trusting Him and made my love for Him greater.

Here's my story - I'm doing marketing for a band on Sony BMG. About two weeks ago I booked them for a live studio session while they're in LA for a big magazine. The magazine invited about a 100 fans for the private performance/ interview. So tonight, I get an email on my blackberry from the guy at the magazine asking me where the band is because everyone is waiting. I was driving when I got the email and immediately pulled over because I had the feeling something was wrong. I called the band's publicist and she said the session was tomorrow, the 4th and not today. When she said the 4th, I remembered there was so much back and forth between doing the session the 3rd or the 4th, that I probably gave the guy the wrong date! I wanted to die! I quickly searched through my emails and found where I had told him the 4th at 6pm, but realized that he had written back, "ok, the 3rd at 6pm then." I did give him the correct date, but I should have caught his error in reading the 3rd. I wrote him back and said he was mistaken about the date, but he then forwarded me the email where he said "ok, the 3rd at 6pm" and he had cc'ed everyone at the label! My clients, the people that hired me! Plus, there were about 100 fans that had been waiting for the band for the last hour…and it was all my fault! So what did I do then? I prayed. For the first time, I prayed with absolute confidence that although things were my fault, God would help me. He would not let me be put to shame. I told the Lord that I trusted Him and to please help me. I copied and pasted back where I had said the 4th and stood by, nervous, waiting for his reply, yet knowing God would make it ok. A minute later, I get an email back from him saying, "it's cool Audrey, there's actually another band in town that came to visit and we could have them do it. The fans are having a great time and don't mind coming back tomorrow."

This is the God that I worship!! And this is the God that wants to work on your behalf too! He is REAL, He is GOOD, and He is waiting for you to call on Him so that He could do even bigger things in Your life. Don't think that He can't or that He won't do it for you, because it's taken me a very long time to come to this point where I can call on Him confidently without doubting. Keep going on your journey because He will show Himself to you in amazing ways!!

Today's Prayer:
Lord God, thank You so much from the bottom of my heart for all You do for me. I don't deserve the way You are with me but You still look out for me, protect me, and defend me from being put to shame. Please let me be forever grateful to You for Your mercy and care. In Your Name we pray, amen.

Gossiping, First Impressions and Talking Behind Backs

"Do not let them wink maliciously - those who hate me without cause. But it is You, O Lord, who see the truth. Do not keep silent. Do not stand afar off." - Psalm 35:19,22

Although I try to keep a thick skin, something that really hurts me is to hear when people say things behind my back, or I hear they have a different impression of me than who I really am. I've heard so many people say about me that I'm conceited when the truth is that I'm actually really shy and feel intimidated in groups of 3 or more people. Gossiping is something we've all been guilty of but ever since I've been trying to move closer to God, it's something I want to let go of completely. God keeps reinforcing that each and every one of us is His child and until we accept that, we put up walls that prevent us from forming true friendships with people. It's so easy to meet someone and just think "uhg, I can't stand this person," but a lot of times, there is someone really great behind that first impression, or first few impressions. People change, for the better or the worst. Someone you probably couldn't stand in the past has learned from their mistakes and is now a great person. We should always give someone a shot because God could be bringing a great friendship into your life that you're not being open to. And if you're the one right now being brushed off by someone, remember that God loves you and if your intentions are good, no matter how you are perceived, God will clear your name.

Today's Prayer:
Lord God, You know how my heart hurts when others judge me negatively. And I know You feel the same way when I judge others. Please open the eyes of our hearts so that we could see past these layers around a person and into who they really are. In Your Name we pray, amen.