When You're Off the Path

"Search me, O God, and know my heart; try me and know my thoughts. See if my steps have gone astray, and lead me in your eternal way." - Psalm 139:23-24

Are there ever moments when you look at yourself and don't like who you have become? Do you ever yearn to go back to a time when you were more innocent and life was simpler? A time when you were stronger and had more passion for life and God. I've been feeling like that lately and the Lord just put this verse in my heart tonight. As we all know, life has its ups and downs and somehow we always tend to look at ourselves in the past and think of how much happier we were then than we are now… but the truth is that God knows how to bring our lives full circle. He always restores us and makes life more fuller when we ask. He prepares us in moments we've been weak to be stronger in the future. I know that I can't discount anything I may be feeling now because it is all part of God's plan for me, although I might not see how it fits, but He certainly makes no mistakes. Therefore, wherever we are right now is ok with God, as lost and confused as we may feel, as long as we take the time to ask Him to search us and show us the right path to follow.

Today's Prayer:
Lord, help me to fully accept Your love for me. I know that I am probably harder on myself than You are on me, but I would love to follow Your will completely and need Your direction. Help us to listen to Your voice and let ourselves be guided by You. In Your Name we pray, amen.

A Scary Road Ahead

"But I put my trust in you, O Lord. You are my God; my days are in your hands." - Psalm 31:14-15

It is so scary to face the future and come across opportunities in which we have to make serious decisions. Sometimes we know what to do but most times we don't. I remember how scary it was to pick a college and pick a major. It felt so final and how was I to know at that age what I really wanted to do for the rest of my life? And then after college, where was I to work? Now I find myself thinking about marriage and it being so permanent when I'm not sure where my path will lead in a couple of months. Life is so scary; and there's no way of knowing if the choices you make will be good or bad in the long term. Will I be ok in the long term? Will I be ok in 6 months? Or 1 month?

I only know one thing though, and that's that I am going to trust in God to guide me through. He knows where He's taking me even if He lets that road be dark for a couple of miles. I tell Him every day that I hope that He really knows that no matter what, I just want to be led by Him. Tonight in my ministry class, my teacher shared a poem written by a monk named Thomas Merton. I found myself and all I was feeling in those words and it showed me that in all walks of life, we are all scared, but in all walks of life, God is there.

I hope it brings you comfort as you try to figure out your path:

"My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so.

But I believe that my desire to please you does in fact please you. And I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire. And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road, though I may know nothing about it.

Therefore I will trust you always, though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death, I will not fear, for you are ever with me; you will never leave me to face my perils alone."

The Dark, Unknown Path

"The priest answered them, 'Go in peace, the journey you make is under the eye of Yahweh.'" - Judges 18:6

Life is just so difficult sometimes. There are no road maps, we only get advice that we probably won't follow. Sometimes I feel like I know what I want and what to do with my life and other times I feel so lost, so confused. It feels like I have to make such permanent decisions so fast. When we're in our late teens and 20's, the choices we make have a profound effect on the rest of our lives. Do I take this job, or even this career? Do I marry this person? Should I move to another city? Will I want this 10 years from now, or 5 years or even 1? There are so many paths to take and some are easy but a lot are painful and we might not even have the reassurance that we are doing the right thing. Are we on the right path right now? Is this where we're supposed to be?

This is why it's so important to be in constant contact with God. This journey of life is hard enough by ourselves, we need His guidance. We need Him to tell us that we're on the right path, to be in peace because He is watching us as we walk through it. There so much fear in uncertainty and in facing an unknown, daunting future, but by knowing that the Lord is with me as I go, I am comforted that I am in His hands. How scary it must be for those that don't know God…those who who let their own whims guide them; its a shot in the dark. Without guidance from God they face the next 40 or 50 years taking an unknown, shaky path. One mistake for them could cost them dearly, but putting ourselves in the Lord's presence each day is like being given a flash light to make it through this dark, unknown journey…He illuminates the path as we go.

Today's Prayer:
Lord, I know You have plans for me and my future, but help me see today how I can follow You in getting there. Sometimes I am so afraid and don't know what to do and need Your guidance in making decisions. As scary as it is, just be with me as I go so that I know I am where I need to be. In Your Name we pray, Amen.