Am I Worthy?

"Place your burden on the Lord, and He will sustain you, for He never allows the upright to fall." - Psalm 55:22

The journey towards God is a painful one because God's role in our lives is to make us complete. This means that when you place your heart on God, for a second you might be feeling like you're doing really well, but God brings out in you those fears and insecurities you didn't even know you had. We are all broken in many more ways that we can imagine and God seeks to heal us, put us together. In my case, as I have been sharing with you, I have worry/ anxiety issues. I know I should trust in God completely, but when I'm in a bind, I get overly anxious, nervous, and usually start crying in despair. As a matter of fact, what motivated me to be a straight A student in school had always been the fear of getting yelled at by a teacher, or the fear of failing and being seen as stupid. I never even realized the degree to which I felt this until God brought it up to the forefront for healing. I'm praying about it and I know He's working on it.

In the same way, I know you have deep seeded fears, insecurities, anxieties. Maybe they're similar to mine or maybe they're totally different. The point is that when we realize these issues we have within ourselves, we might not think we're worthy of God. I felt like this this week - in my despair I felt that I didn't trust God enough with my problems just because He took longer than usual to answer me. Then I thought to myself, "why would God help me if I failed Him?" And I'm sure you, at one point or another, feel the same way. We all have problems and drama that we deal with every day and when the Word of God tells us to put our trust in Him because He will sustain us, we really want to do that. We really want to just rest in His arms where things are safe and nothing bad or hurtful ever happens. But then we read the next part about God doing this for the upright…is that me? I'm not holy. I carry so many sins and let God down constantly with my poor faith…is God's promise then not for me? Our own low self-esteem might say that it doesn't apply to us, but if you're reading this right now, it does apply to you. No matter how broken you are and how many sins you commit, if your heart is placed on trying to follow the Lord, then you are upright. Jesus' best friends betrayed Him at His death, but He still gave them His church to run for Him. The Lord knows our sins better than we do so when our hearts and our minds are trying to please Him, that alone make us upright and righteous in His eyes…then He will heal us, He will sustain us and never let us fall.

Today's Prayer:
Lord God, thank You for being so merciful. You overlook my many faults because of Your love for me and then try to heal me of all my wounds. See me as Your clay so that You can mold me and fix me as You please. In Your Name we pray, amen.