It's Not Him, It's You

"I loved Israel when He was a child: out of Egypt I called my son. But the more I have called, the further from me they have gone." - Hosea 11:1-2

When I was 19 I refused to talk to God. Things with my boyfriend of almost 4 years weren't working out and in my mind it was all God's fault. On the night I realized things weren't going to work out between my boyfriend and I, I locked myself up in the bathroom and with warm tears rushing down my face, I screamed at God: "Why are You doing this to me? You KNEW how much I wanted this and now, because You just don't feel like it, You're taking this away from me after I asked You sooo many times???!!!!"

After this, I didn't lose my faith but I was angry. As someone angry with a friend, I would be "cordial" to God. I would go to church but I wouldn't pray. In my anger and hurt, I would say, "what do I need to pray for? God does whatever He wants anyway!" This is where a lot of people, unfortunately, get stuck. They never see beyond that apparent betrayal from God. I was lucky that I kept my heart open, and with time I came to realize the new peace I had in my life and the new opportunities God had given me after that break-up. I saw the reasons why He did it and I'm glad I never let the hurt from my past relationship keep me from seeing God's good intentions for me. So many people feel God has abandoned them or maybe even, that God might not exist. Just like people in the time of the prophet Hosea turned from God, so do we turn away from God, putting our own walls up that block Him from getting in.

This summer I was called in for what really would have been my dream job. I was contacted by a VP of a record label to be a product manager and I was ecstatic. We went as far as discussing base salary and how they would even pay for my new blackberry. Then, for reasons I wasn't sure of, they decided not to hire me. I really can't tell you how hurt I was, especially because I really hated my job at the moment. I was so close to my dreams and they were snatched right out in front of me. I did cry, but unlike when I was 19, through my tears I decided to praise God because I KNEW He had something better for me. I know other people would probably get angry and ask why would God let me go so far to only lose in the end, but I don't want to be like those other people that doubt His love and His plans for me. And the Lord is so good that because of my trust and faith in Him, He's shown me the reasons behind the things He does…two weeks ago, everyone in the marketing department I would have gone into was laid off, including the VP that interviewed me.

Your relationship with God all depends on your own attitude. The case in most relationships when people say to another, "it's not you, it's me," but they're really lying, does not apply to God. In every case, it really is us! It's us if we aren't open enough to give God time to work and show us the good He's doing behind all these apparently horrible things. God is always looking for us. God always loves us and God is always there. Any absence of God is only falsely perceived.

Today's Prayer:
Lord God, forgive me for being so blind to the good You want to do for me. Forgive me for wanting to hold on to things and getting upset when You try to change things. Teach me to let You have the control. Teach me to trust in You so that I can see the powers of Your hand. In Your Name we pray, amen.

Led Into Exile

"And Yahweh says, 'When you call on me, I will listen. You will seek me and find me when you search for me with all your heart.' For Yahweh says, 'I will gather you from among all the nations and from all the places where I have driven you and bring you back to the place from which I sent you into exile.'" - Jeremiah 29:12-14

Sometimes we get so lost when it comes to God. It feels as though we're abandoned by Him and its such a lonely and scary feeling. This is being in exile and sometimes the Lord sends us off into a place where we feel this abandonment so that we can become stronger in that place; we can learn to rise above our own problems and fears. But it is the Lord who sends us there, sometimes because He wants to strengthen our faith and other times because we need to be corrected and pass through trials to be cleansed and purified. Although we are in this foreign place in our lives, God always knows where we are. He makes sure we absorb what we need from there and then He gathers us back into His love. But here's the key to this - "when you search for me with all your heart." If you haven't taken the time to develop your faith to the point that you learn to stand on your own two feet, you will not be drawn back from exile because you are not searching with all your heart. If you have been cast off into exile because you have committed a grave sin before the eyes of the Lord and you do not recognize that sin and repent, you will not be drawn back from exile since you have yet to search with all of your heart. Searching with all of your heart is to put the Lord in first place. You're in exile - how much longer until you realize that you cannot make it on your own? Searching with all of your heart is to do away with the doubting, the selfishness, and the control of your will and surrendering it to God…only then are you really, truly searching. Don't lie to yourself and say that you do look for God, but in the back of your mind want an excuse to validate your own will and your own doubts. It doesn't work that way! If you are in exile, if you feel abandoned, you need to recognize that your one and only true source of life is the Lord. Look for that source and He will let Himself be found by you. He can only work the miracles and bring you the blessings when you let go of what's holding you back. He will listen to you. You will have God's ear and compassion when you just give up the control to Him. Just by seeking Him in this way, He brings you close again to where He is. Your fears, pains, worries, loneliness…this all disappears when He gathers you back from where He sent you. The reward is to be that close to your creator who seeks to bless you and guide you through all the scary parts of life and all the good as well.

Today's Prayer:
Lord Jesus, I seek to surrender myself to You. Gather me back Lord, and bring me close to where I can be guided and led by You. Grant me the blessing of letting Yourself be found by me and having Your ear when I cry out to You. Let this always be the desire on my heart. In Your Name we pray, amen.