It's Not Him, It's You

"I loved Israel when He was a child: out of Egypt I called my son. But the more I have called, the further from me they have gone." - Hosea 11:1-2

When I was 19 I refused to talk to God. Things with my boyfriend of almost 4 years weren't working out and in my mind it was all God's fault. On the night I realized things weren't going to work out between my boyfriend and I, I locked myself up in the bathroom and with warm tears rushing down my face, I screamed at God: "Why are You doing this to me? You KNEW how much I wanted this and now, because You just don't feel like it, You're taking this away from me after I asked You sooo many times???!!!!"

After this, I didn't lose my faith but I was angry. As someone angry with a friend, I would be "cordial" to God. I would go to church but I wouldn't pray. In my anger and hurt, I would say, "what do I need to pray for? God does whatever He wants anyway!" This is where a lot of people, unfortunately, get stuck. They never see beyond that apparent betrayal from God. I was lucky that I kept my heart open, and with time I came to realize the new peace I had in my life and the new opportunities God had given me after that break-up. I saw the reasons why He did it and I'm glad I never let the hurt from my past relationship keep me from seeing God's good intentions for me. So many people feel God has abandoned them or maybe even, that God might not exist. Just like people in the time of the prophet Hosea turned from God, so do we turn away from God, putting our own walls up that block Him from getting in.

This summer I was called in for what really would have been my dream job. I was contacted by a VP of a record label to be a product manager and I was ecstatic. We went as far as discussing base salary and how they would even pay for my new blackberry. Then, for reasons I wasn't sure of, they decided not to hire me. I really can't tell you how hurt I was, especially because I really hated my job at the moment. I was so close to my dreams and they were snatched right out in front of me. I did cry, but unlike when I was 19, through my tears I decided to praise God because I KNEW He had something better for me. I know other people would probably get angry and ask why would God let me go so far to only lose in the end, but I don't want to be like those other people that doubt His love and His plans for me. And the Lord is so good that because of my trust and faith in Him, He's shown me the reasons behind the things He does…two weeks ago, everyone in the marketing department I would have gone into was laid off, including the VP that interviewed me.

Your relationship with God all depends on your own attitude. The case in most relationships when people say to another, "it's not you, it's me," but they're really lying, does not apply to God. In every case, it really is us! It's us if we aren't open enough to give God time to work and show us the good He's doing behind all these apparently horrible things. God is always looking for us. God always loves us and God is always there. Any absence of God is only falsely perceived.

Today's Prayer:
Lord God, forgive me for being so blind to the good You want to do for me. Forgive me for wanting to hold on to things and getting upset when You try to change things. Teach me to let You have the control. Teach me to trust in You so that I can see the powers of Your hand. In Your Name we pray, amen.