Broken

"Yet ours were the sorrows He bore, ours were the sufferings He endured, although we considered Him as one punished by God, stricken and brought low. Forsaken because of our sins, He was crushed for our wickedness. Through His punishment we are made whole; by His wounds we are healed." - Isaiah 53:4-5

I was out with my cousin and a good friend, and all of a sudden, I felt the urge to vent about a lot of things. Being a reserved person, I surprised myself when I just started to go on and on about things I was feeling. I didn't filter what I was thinking or feeling; I put my heart out on the table. My friend said to me with a smile on his face, "ahh, now I don't feel so evil if you're a church going girl and you feel the same way I feel." This really struck me because it opened my eyes to a huge contradiction many of us experience, which is that if we're Christians, we're not supposed to have negative feelings about anymore. As if by believing in Jesus Christ, we should be sun-shiney, loving, forgiving people all the time and this is totally off!

The truth is that we are all broken… each and every single one of us have little demons we battle with constantly, whether it's dealing with anger, depression, addictions, or anxieties. It is because these things have the power to creep deep into our souls and haunt us, hurt us, that Jesus offered Himself to us. It's because of our brokeness that He gave up His life to make us whole, to fill in those empty spaces we can't fill on our own. Therefore, we should never feel bad when we look at ourselves and see ugly things we wish we didn't feel or do… they're part of us… but that's why we need Jesus to heal us. We are not made Christian by being good people all the time. If that were the case, we would have no need for God. But we are real Christians when in our brokeness, we are able to recognize the need for Christ and surrender to Him, no matter how messed up or sinful we are.

Today's Prayer:
Oh Jesus, Your eyes can pierce through all of my soul and see my pain, my hurt, and all of the ugly things I don't let anyone see, but despite all of this, You still love me and You want to come and heal me. Thank You, My Lord, and please, let me always go to You when I am weak. In Your Name we pray, amen.