Bringing Down My Walls

"I am certain that neither death nor life, neither angels nor spiritual powers, neither the present nor the future, nor cosmic powers, were they from heaven or from the deep world below, nor any creature whatsoever will separate us from the love of God, which we have in Jesus Christ, our Lord." - Romans 8:38-39

I have to admit that I'm struggling with something… when I sin and turn my back on what I know God would have wanted me to do, I feel myself put up a wall between God and I. Sometimes we just slip into sin and feel so badly afterwards, and I can't help but feel that God can't possibly love me despite this. It's not even that I feel He's mad at me because I get mad at myself first and I build up the wall that makes me feel unworthy. And honestly, my only comfort is the bible because it tells me the opposite of all that I'm feeling. I'm feeling that God is angry, that I'm a hypocrite, and a phony, but the bible tells me that I can and will sin seventy times seven times and He'll still forgive me. His mercy is greater than my sin. He forgets the wrong I've done and nothing will ever, ever separate me from this love.

This isn't something that has really sunk into my heart yet, but I will choose to believe it. I have to keep repeating these words until the Spirit allows them to take root in my heart and I can learn to forgive myself as Jesus has forgiven me. I believe that if we all choose to believe in the Word of God, even though it doesn't make sense or hasn't made its way to our hearts yet, God will give us the grace to live by it and not just believe.

Today's Prayer:
Merciful Father, I don't understand Your kindness but I thank You for it. I don't understand how I can be so sinful and You still offer Your hand to me. Help me, Lord, to surrender. Help me to knock down the walls I've created and let Your love and forgiveness shine through. In Jesus' Name we pray, amen.