"As for Mary, when she came to the place where Jesus was and saw him, she fell at his feet and said, 'Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.' When Jesus saw her weeping and the Jews also who had come with her, he was moved in the depths of his spirit and troubled." - John 11:32-33
I was at the mall today and saw a severely disabled boy and my heart broke for him. A little later on my friend text me that her son had to be admitted into the hospital, and my heart also broke for her and her pain and worry. My Lord, I thought to myself, what are your plans behind all of this suffering? Towards the end of Jesus' ministry here on earth we hear of His friends Mary and Martha and their brother Lazarus. The sisters were very close friends of Jesus and one day their brother got very ill. They sent word to Jesus, but since He was a little far off He took a few days to get back to town. By the time He returned, Lazarus was dead. Mary and Martha cried and told Jesus that if only He had been there, that terrible thing wouldn't have happened. Their brother wouldn't have died. This is so much like us today. We hold on to God because we believe that God being good means we don't suffer, or especially those we love the most. It just hurts so much, so how could God allow it?
But God is still good and just, even through the pain and trials we have to suffer, and He suffers right there with us. The gospel says that when Jesus saw Mary and everyone mourning, He was filled with sorrow and cried with them. Yes, Jesus as full God and full man cries at our pain and our suffering, and feels compassion for us. But He still waited all those days to get back and see Lazarus. If Jesus had prevented Lazarus from dying it would have been a great thing and everyone would have been happy, but by waiting until Lazarus died, Jesus did an even bigger thing. After everyone lost hope, and even put a limit on Jesus and what He could do, our Lord raised Lazarus from the dead and restored him to life! This is how Jesus works in our lives when we have struggles… these trials don't mean that God is unjust, but they mean that He is working even bigger things through them, bigger than anything our minds can even conceive. He is coming up with bigger possibilities, and only through the full abandonment and humility that come from these trials are we able to receive the graces God is preparing. Jesus could have healed Lazarus, but by letting him die, all were witnesses to the power of God in restoring life, body and soul. Because Jesus loves so deeply He must find the most perfect way to bring healing and larger blessings, and many times those only come after pain. Sometimes we can only see and live the glory and power of God when we have been to the very bottom and then raised up by Him who loves us and knows what's best for us.
Today's Prayer:
Jesus, if it were up to me, I wouldn't suffer, but You know what's best for me and those I love. Help me to see that You are good and all You do is for a bigger purpose, even when I can't see through tears, hurt and anger. Even if my faith dwindles through the trials, like Lazarus, please raise me back to life. In Your Name we pray, amen.
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