The Ideal

"The husband is the head of his wife, as Christ is the head of the Church, his body, of whom he is also the Savior. And as the Church submits to Christ, so let a wife submit in everything to her husband." - Ephesians 5:23-24

Briefly reading this verse, one would think it sounds incredibly unfair to the wife - "let a wife submit in everything to her husband" - but when meditated upon, this is one of the most beautiful pieces of advice St. Paul gives us. In it, he gives us a vision of the ideal marriage, the covenant God intended us to live. In today's society, we rely far too much on feelings instead of on our values. We have become far too focused on ourselves and what we feel we deserve instead of how we can give of ourself to make someone else feel better. In a marriage covenant, God intended for each person to completely give themselves over to the other in love. It's a covenant because if it were just a contract, then I can break the contract and the deal would be terminated, but in a covenant, vows are said before God and man that forever make you responsible for the well-being of your spouse, always through the good and especially through the bad. God's relationship with us is also a covenant because it has never been broken when we mess up. His love and dedication to us rebuilds it until forgiveness brings healing and from healing rises new love and deeper-rooted trust. This is why St. Paul wrote this verse above, because for our sins Jesus gave up all that He could, despite our behavior or our worthiness. He loved and made a covenant with us and that was enough for Him to sacrifice Himself for our good. This is the role of a husband to his wife… he must constantly give of himself for her well-being, even when he feels he has nothing left to give… it is his job to redeem her. In the same way, our responsibility as the people of Christ, His Church, is to accept His sacrifice of love and because of it be faithful and respond with the same love in return. The Church loves Christ because He gave all and in return we want to give all as well. Wives need to follow this example and out of love care for and protect their husbands. In neither case is anyone less than the other, but the relationship needs to be a constant communion of love, forgiveness, and dedication to one another.

I know this is far from the way many marriages are today, but it is the ideal… and by ideal I don't mean the unattainable, I mean what God created us for… what sin, grudges, and selfishness hold us back from.

Today's Prayer:
Father, from the very beginning You fashioned man and woman to be partners and companions for one another. You intended for a love that constantly gives of oneself for the other in mutual respect and dignity. We stray from Your path and become selfish, more concerned with what we need in order to be happy than what our spouse needs. Have mercy Lord, touch our hearts and help us to love and give of ourselves the way Jesus did for us. In Jesus' Name we pray, amen.