Held Accountable

"If any of you should cause one of these little ones who believe in me to stumble and fall, it would be better for you to be thrown into the depths of the sea with a great millstone around your neck." - Matthew 18:6

In January I held a prayer group because I felt God telling me to organize it. I put it off for a bit but He kept insisting. It took a lot out of me to put together because I'm a shy person and didn't want to harass people into attending, although I knew God had a purpose for everyone there. Tonight, my mom told me she bumped into someone whose daughter had attended that night. I don't know the girl. Someone else had invited her. Her mother told my mom that she was transformed that night. She received such a special call from God that all she wants to do is pray, go to church, and read the bible now. Although this is really great news, it scared me. God kept insisting that I put this together and it took so much out of me to silence myself and let Him work. It took so much out of me to even stand before people to talk about my faith. What if I hadn't listened and this young girl, a stranger, would have never received the love of God that night? But more importantly, on the night, God was able to act because I prayed and let myself be guided by Him, but how about who I am 95% of the time? How about who I am when I'm not praying as much? How about the Audrey that gets cranky with my brothers and is quick to snap when things don't go my way? What kind of example do I set then? The girl is just one person who I won over for God because I was praying so much, and I wouldn't have even known about her if my mom hadn't seen her mom. But I wonder how many people I have led into sin when I'm far from God and don't listen to Him. One offense, one bad word, one bad example could have led so many to sin and I would never know, but God knows and I'm sure He's keeping count. Ninety-five percent of the time I'm not who God wants me to be and I'm ashamed of that. Ninety-five percent of the time I could be causing others to sin and that is not acceptable to me.

If there are any of you that are hurt or offended by anything I've done, I am deeply sorry. Sometimes our own ignorance and insecurities lead us to harm people and we never even know it. Please know that if I've ever done anything to any of you, it's been because of my own faults, and I apologize from the bottom of my heart. I'm ashamed of a lot of things I've said, done, and thought, and hope you pray for me as God continues to mold me.

My prayer for tonight is that each of you meditate on your own actions and see if you think you've led people towards God or away from God by the examples you've set. Sometimes it's not the people we live with who we influence the most, but those whose lives we affect when casually walking by. We never realize how the smallest action or gesture on our part can significantly affect the soul of another person. I've heard that in the final judgment, God will show each of us all the souls that were lost and all the souls that were won because of us. Please pray so that we can correct the mistakes and offenses we've made and can work to bring the love of God to those who need His mercy. I ask this in Jesus' Name, amen.