The Test

"Examine yourselves: are you acting according to faith? Test yourselves. Can you assert that Christ Jesus is in you? If not, you have failed the test." - 2nd Corinthians 13: 5-6

These were the words God said to me one night a few years ago. I had just had a huge argument with someone and I stormed to my room, slamming things on the way. I was so angry and on the verge of tears. In my despair, I picked up the bible and asked God to speak to me. I closed my eyes, opened the bible to a random page and let God guide my fingers and when I opened my eyes, I had landed on this verse. Even more upset because I felt it had nothing to do with me, I closed the bible and opened it again. When I opened my eyes, my fingers were still on the same passage. On my third try, I was still in the same place.

Never before had I felt God give me a message so strongly. Wasn't I supposed to have love for others? Wasn't I supposed to forgive? Wasn't I supposed to control my anger and not let it take hold of me in the way that it did? I had failed the test. Jesus is too pure and holy to reside in a person that was acting the way I was - I couldn't say Christ Jesus was living in me and I was so disappointed in myself. I had tried so hard to be like Him and I let one thing get in the way.

Today, I can't remember what that fight was even about. All I remember is my anger and despair turning into shame and disappointment for I had let God down. But what I do know is that each day is another chance to make it better as long as I keep my eyes on the prize as Paul had said.

From now on, I intend to pass the test and assert that Christ Jesus does live in me!

How do you know if you pass the test? In Galatians 5: 19-23, Paul gives us a list of qualities that cause us to fail the test and they are: immorality, impurity, shamelessness, idol worship, magic, hatred, jealousy, violence, anger, ambition, division, factions, envy, drunkeness, and orgies. But Paul also gives us the qualities that will help us make the grade: charity, joy, peace, patience, understanding of others, kindness, fidelity, gentleness, and self control.

Think these over and ask yourselves which of these do you have more of? Examine yourselves: are you acting according to faith? Test yourselves. Can you assert that Christ Jesus is in you? I hope that you have not failed the test.

Today's Prayer:
My God, each day is a struggle to keep Your commandments and I am so weak most of the time. I lose sight of You and let myself be led to those things that You hate. I know that I always need Your help, but do not look at what I do, but at the intentions in my heart to please You. I may have failed the test today Lord but help me to one day proclaim that You do live inside me. In Your Name we pray, Amen.